How I Lived Before Tina Fey

Dear Tina Fey,

I don't understand how I ever lived without you. I don't remember laughing before you came along, and if I did, it was probably a dry, hoarse laugh that caused me physical pain. Thank you for being funny and curing me of it - I guess laughter really is the best medicine. (I'm sorry if that last sentence made you want to vomit. It made me want to vomit a little too.) Anyway, I wanted to thank you for being the most lovable nerd ever, and for making me question my sexuality because I have a girl-crush on you. I can't tell if I want to be you or if I want to be with you. And with that, my letter has turned from heartfelt to mildly obsessed. I'll stop before it gets any worse. In conclusion, please keep being funny, and I'll continue to stay at least 200 feet away from you at all times.

All my love,
Mallory