People Who Have No Volume Control

There are several people I know whose picture I could post here, and all of those people HAVE NO VOLUME CONTROL. And I love it. I may not understand it, but I love it.

When I was a kid, I learned about "inside voices" and "outside voices." You use your quieter inside voice when you're inside a building, and you use your outside voice on the playground, where you are less likely to damage someone's eardrums by yelling. Unfortunately, some people never learned about the inside voice part and instead (to this day) have only one volume when speaking: loud.

Usually this isn't a problem. But sometimes it is. For example, job interviews don't go so well when you think it is SO NICE TO MEET the interviewer. Or when that girl you don't like sits nearby, and OMG COULD HER SHIRT BE ANY SMALLER I THINK SHE BOUGHT THAT FROM BABY GAP. Or when your mom drops you off at school and BYE HONEY MAKE NEW FRIENDS DON'T BE SO ANTISOCIAL TODAY. These things should be said much quieter for a better effect.

That being said, though, I think it is highly amusing (though sometimes very embarrassing) to have friends with no volume control. It helps when you're talking to people that are hard of hearing. It helps when you're talking in noisy areas. It helps when your intended listener is fashionably challenged, or, unfortunately, antisocial. We get the hint - just a little louder than intended.